Monday 31 August 2015

It does get better - loving the honesty with my coworkers


Compassion is hard folks.

" Some, if you ain't been through it, you can't imagine how it breaks your heart, tears it in shreds, bit by bit, night by night.
It's like you still a little child, screaming and sobbing at the top of your lungs from seeing the Devil and his wickedness all night long
and nobody never hears you, nor comes to comfort you.
And it goes on and on, not for just one night, but for a long long time.

If you don't think you have a choice, you don't have it.
And it gets to be this kind of sink-or-swim method of living.
It ain't a great way to go, but if you know no other way,
you just got to go ahead and do it.

And if you got to swim, and you ain't had lessons, you best pay attention.
I mean it, paying attention is the only way to make it, if that's where you are.....

And  it wasn't nice, and it was sad, but it was what was.
I mean, if she wanted a home
and she was going to need one after all this
she had to make a home.

She had to learn to make it herself.

And not just a place to live, but a place to be.
A place in her heart she felt proud of and work she was happy to do.

I mean, she had a job, came home with a paycheck, but with a sad bitter heartache too...

But they's lots of ways to kill a person.
And shame is as deadly as dust."


Friday 21 August 2015

Money aint everything


I never will forget him
For he made me what I am 
Though he may be gone
Memory lingers on
And I miss him... the old man

And suddenly.......

My father is a rare cat.

... once upon a time,.. I had what to general perception was "a good job"
I was permanent and earned more than I do now.
But I was being asked to do things,.. which although not technically illegal... of questionable morality.

And it started to eat me,.. as I started to realise the magnitude of the consequences of what "we" were doing.

(Please note... no one make a jail as yet... although there was a public inquiry)

Anyway,.. I was renting,... and took my father to the beach one day.
And I told him... in broad terms..

That I needed to leave the job,...
cause at the end of the day...
The person you have to sleep with... is yourself.

And all my father said was
Your room is as you left it... do what you have to.

I was an adult woman.. in a managerial position.
Had six figures in savings... but knew I wanted to change my career field.

He was not obligated to take me back in.

In fact I know many parents who would have tried to help their child ease their conscience.

My father just said

Money ain't everything.




Thursday 20 August 2015

Death comes to us all,... it is the great equalizer

I cannot remember when I stopped praying for a cure.
And started to pray for death to come.
To ease her suffering.
To bring release.


Death is kindness...




If you stab yourself close to the top of your thigh.. to the bone..
The femoral artery is too high to turnkey and you bleed out in five minutes.




Sunday 16 August 2015

No regrets

I am reminded,.. that the paper's not the point


I am thinking anxiety.
Maybe with deep pressure touch
or dementia

Wednesday 12 August 2015

London calling

My results are good.

I am going to London.

It is something to look forward to,.. and I need to switch focus a little bit, cause I have no clue what I wish to do for my master's project.

I know I want to do something on Mental Health.

And a systematic review.

The case for the World Health Organization's Commission on the Social Determinants of Health to address sexual orientation.

Been thinking about that, but will not do something so specific.

I love the fact I am out in work.

Making real progress this year.





Thursday 6 August 2015

Without a hitch

I may feel I am rusty,.. but the reality is I have been having these conversations for YEARS.

Top five went off smoothly.

Trinidad is very tolerant, overall.

A few pointers though.


  • Do offer to answer any questions that they may have.
  • Assure them that you have support and can give advice as to possible HR matters.
  • Give them some one to talk to, because they may not want to discuss their feelings as they sort them out with you directly.

I may just decide to become a lifer after all this.

Saturday 1 August 2015

Things to remember







Treat your fellow humans well.

Random Thoughts



Born alone and Die alone



You might take my life
But you can't take my soul
You can't take my soul
You might take my freedom
But you can't take my soul
You can't take my soul

Whether it's a cancer patient or assassination
Or I fought for emancipation
My intentions were pure, you can debate 'em
But no, never ever shook hands with Satan
My fans are amazing, I thank and praise 'em
When I die, don't cry, just congratulations
A million more feet will stamp the pavement with plans of changes, no exaggeration
We will not be ignored
You'll be rocked with the force of the bombs that you dropped in these wars
I will not be bought
And I consciously thought it was wrong, so I constantly fought
Peace is something I would really adore
But we are at war so give me a sword
I'm merely a corpse, but still be assured
When you kill me there will be a million more

Born alone and die alone
Those words ringin' inside my dome
Best friends are the pen and the microphone
Roamin' until I find my way home
Turn my body cold but my soul is mine
Take a deep breath and I close my eyes
I will go when I'm supposed to die
But in death I will multiply

My back's against the wall
But you can't kill us all
Even if you take my life
Still we will survive
We shall overcome
And the tables will turn
Today I die as one, but as millions I'll return
But as millions I'll return
But as millions I'll return

In these critical times don't be really surprised
If I get victimised by Gideon's spies
I sympathise with that Brazilian guy
On the tube, but we're used to the hideous lie
Your civilians die - millions cry
Our civilians die - they're militants, right?
How silly am I to be figuring why
The injustice is clear, and I feel it inside
Hear me in Gaza, here me in Glasgow
Hear me in Baghdad, hear me in Plaistow
Clearly they hear me from here to Chicago
Think things are all good but they aren't though
Peace is something I would really adore
But we are at war so give me a sword
I'm merely a corpse, but still be assured
When you kill me there will be a million more

Born alone and die alone
Those words ringin' inside my dome
Best friends are the pen and the microphone
Roamin' until I find my way home
Turn my body cold but my soul is mine
Take a deep breath and I close my eyes
I will go when I'm supposed to die
But in death I will multiply

My back's against the wall
But you can't kill us all
Even if you take my life
Still we will survive
We shall overcome
And the tables will turn
Today I die as one, but as millions I'll return
But as millions I'll return
But as millions I'll return

My people are bleedin'
So I'm readin' and seekin' the deepest of meanin's
My demons are breedin'
In my sleep I can feel it, I need to defeat 'em
My temperature's risin'
If tempted I'll rise with the temper of Tyson
Resent all the violence
Cause of people with tension
It tends to divide them
The pen that I write with
Is better than a sword when I strike with the strength of a Titan
My friends are still fighting against all the tyrants
So then why would it end when I die then?
Peace is something I would really adore
But we are at war my pen's killing your sword
I'm merely a corpse, but still be assured
When you kill me there will be a million more

Born alone and die alone
Those words ringin' inside my dome
Best friends are the pen and the microphone
Roamin' until I find my way home
Turn my body cold but my soul is mine
Take a deep breath and I close my eyes
I will go when I'm supposed to die
But in death I will multiply

My back's against the wall
But you can't kill us all
Even if you take my life
Still we will survive
We shall overcome
And the tables will turn
Today I die as one, but as millions I'll return
But as millions I'll return
But as millions I'll return

You might take my life
But you can't take my soul
You can't take my soul
You might take my freedom
But you can't take my soul
You can't take my soul

You might take my life
But you can't take my soul
You can't take my soul
You might take my freedom
But you can't take my soul
You can't take my soul


Pride Respect Honour and Dignity


Forget division based on ethnicity or religion ....
Pain is still pain if you’re a person that’s missing
We all deserve a life in this earth that we live in


And it’s not about pity, hands out or sympathy
It’s about Pride, Respect, Honour and Dignity

Sorry that I wasn’t there, Sorry that I couldn’t help
I’m sorry for every tear, Sorry you’ve been put through hell


Such a villianized and criticized nation

Where is our freedom?