Silence

Willful Blindness

Sunday Afternoons

My best friend
Always had sweets to share,
He knew every word in the dictionary

I wish that I could be like
Wear clean clothes, talk properly like
Do sums and history like

My best friend

He could swear like a soldier

You would laugh till you died

At the stories he told y'

I wish that I could be like

Kick a ball and climb a tree like

Run around with dirty knees like

This is a story of two twins who were separated and one was raised in a lower class family (the birth family) and the other was adopted by an upper class family, the mother was the house help.

But the two boys grew together, and were drawn to each other.

Then after childhood they were separated, one went to university and the other was unemployed and ended up in prison. 

At the end, the .... " I could have been him"

Folks,.. I did joke on seeing the picture.. "Who aint dead badly wounded."

But I use laughter to cover discomfort,... an uncomfortable truth.

Patience

Patience is a little like sticking a knife in your heart. It’s painful. It’s not what you’d do willingly. Yet if you truly respect and love each other, it means you chose someone else to put first, even beyond your own wants and needs. And no, though it doesn’t stop hurting, it does get easier to let go of the selfishness keeping your wounds fresh and stinging every time you exercise patience.

I am not alone

Resilence

If I was sixteen and was facing going back to school tomorrow.

Suicide would look like a viable option at the moment.

As it is,.. I am looking to see if anything was put up.
And I get why cyberbullying, so dangerous.
More dangerous than overt hostility in many ways.


I didn't think there was any lower to go.

I've been called names to my face.
Played tricks.
To the point I am uncertain as to my physical safety.

And then,.. because for the most part I have responded with silence.

They have taken my name.. and my 'avatar' identity.. with the threat to create a fake and put words in my mouth that are not mine.

Now as an adult with an identity,.. so I can go.. or they calling me .. whatever.. and say
That's not true, because I know what my identity is.

If you are sixteen years old and questioning,.. you can't do that.

School is a disproportionate part of your social life,.. or what remains of it.

I have other circles that remain untouched by this, I can retain a sense of normalcy.

And even as regards to the 'avatar' identity.. and this blog was part of the answer in anticipation to this one,..  people who know me, know me well enough that they know it is not true.
And I know them well enough to know that they will take it within context. Cause they are also adults.

As for the adult suicide case,.. his case was different.
He wasn't even out to his family,... and I don't know the extent to which he sought support from the gay family.

You have to have a few of those who know,.. what is going on.
Someone who late at night,.. you can just arrive crying and they will open their door without question and let you stay.

Cause when you live alone,.. it's not a great place to be,.. when you are going through this.
And friends who are good enough, to know when it doesn't sound right when you cancel plans.

And I am fairly certain the two people who probably saved my life..
had been there themselves,.. that's why they knew.

Let's figure out how to make sure they remember they survived their nightmare.

Cyber Harassment

So anyway,.. I received via email a fake facebook profile shared with racy photos of a woman.

So after the verbal to your face stuff.

Which was seen as overt.

We gone cyber... which has the ability to cross into my personal life.

Right,... this caused me to panic.

Cause, I can so anticipate that this will be done in my turn.
I took down my personal facebook profile weeks ago.
And given what has happened,.. that profile will die.

Another may be created,.. in my real name after this is all over.

But what I was concerned about,.. which honestly...
if from your own interactions with me... THE REAL ME.
You have not managed to gauge my true personality.

I don't have the energy.

Identity

Branded

Lying

Don't ask if I'm okay.

"Said I'm okay,.. but I know how to lie"