Growing up gender queer

I would say it started from Form 4.

The change over to streaming.. for sciences.. which was a more competitive group..
was to my detriment.
The friends I had managed to make were no longer with me.
This is on the teacher's report and may have been an added factor. (Girls who perform well at school)
Please note... Boys who perform well are also there.
JEALOUSY

I don't know who started the rumour.

The rumour had to have started first.
But it resulted in the Verbal abuse... and Vandalism and Physical abuse
My calculator was broken and I was tripped,..
It is humiliating to be tripped and have your books spill and no one helps. The bullies just laugh.

But ultimately,.. it all leads to isolation.

I have no friends from school days.

All that combined with the issues at home,.. resulted in self harm.

But the status quo in THIS society... is this was a GOOD School

A PRESTIGE SCHOOL.

And Prestige schools are same sex schools.

And we live in the 1960s and girls' uniforms are skirts.

So you can get told repeatedly to 'sit properly'.

It sounds petty,.. but on top of everything else.

....

My mother was brave enough to break taboo.

She transferred her child from a PRESTIGE school to a CO ED Government secondary.

A new start.

And she told the Principal she would deal with my father.

She was specifically asked if he would come to make a scene.

All she asked was how many signatures do you need on the transfer form... only one.

I remember the argument.

And my mother stood her ground, but came to me.. close to tears.. and she would have been stage 4 by this time.

"Prove me right for once."

Cause my mother was a C student and ... had been taught by the very school system to doubt herself.
(That's a long story,... but it is true. )

And it did work.

For someone who is gender queer... what is a good school?

I got to wear jeans and t-shirt to school.. Same subjects.. continuation of actual learning materials and assessment - Exam.

I felt more at ease in my self,.. in clothes of my own choosing.
It sounds petty,.. but getting to decide what you wear every day.. is a blessing.

No one had seen me humiliated,.. well there were a few, but they were in the minority and did not engage in the malicious gossip,.. as they too had left.
And perhaps we agreed to leave what had transpired in that other school behind us,.. they too must have had their reasons for leaving. (And it isn't always .. you didn't make the grade)

As someone who is two spirit,... I have a good question

How the hell do people expect for a girl, and a non-conforming girl at that, to be able to come to terms with aspects of her personality that are masculine... surrounded by only FEMALES!

Having boys to interact with on a daily basis helped.
And they understood that I was not attracted.. also because I was bright... I had learned I could earn their respect by peer tutoring. They did not see me as a competitor in the same way.
And also the entire school was less competitive. So it worked.

And I got to join them going Ascot to play pool. Cause I am a decent pool player.
And they felt comfortable discussing girls with me.
So in some ways it worked,.. and continues depending on my company.
I'm one of the boys.
I did Physics.. there were only four girls in the physics class,.. we were outnumbered 4 to 1.
And my university classes mirrored this ratio.
And some workplaces.

I did physics in the all girls school as well,.. but ... because there was no gender divide,.. this didn't come up.

I describe the Govt Secondary,.. as my best educational experience.

The prestige school is brick and mortar.. it feels it must stand strong and weather the elements. Non - transparent.

The Govt secondary was ... A wire fence.

Able to support... but also to bend. And see through. Decisions were not hidden behind 'protocol'.

And the principal... you could come and go as you wanted,.. as long as you attended classes, and did your work. Sometimes there were options to attend classes ie Maths A or Maths B as long as you cleared it with the teachers,.. who were flexible.. understanding of schedule.

There was no dean of discipline.. ALL teachers were expected to tackle discipline issues.
And I understand there was some level of mentorship for new teachers.
And the Librarian was actively involved in helping students find resources..

And that is environment in which boy-girl... girl-boy... was able to feel supported enough to
have easier social interactions.
was not bullied.

And having to explain things,.. helps you understand them.

I was awarded a scholarship.. three weeks before my mother died.

And sometimes,.. if you ask me why I did it... Cause I really did work harder than I think I have ever worked since...