Dreamfall

"The things that make us what we are, that make our lives worth living, are always intangible and insubstantial. The best that we can hope for is that someday, somewhere a random cast off dream might ease someone else's pain or live on in someone else's memory"

http://4dogeaters.blogspot.com/2008/09/dreamfall.html

http://4dogeaters.blogspot.com/2008/06/one-of-our-sons-is-missing.html

http://4dogeaters.blogspot.com/2009/09/kikuyu.html

Rereading my old blog... I forgot about him.

And I just wonder, although I wasn't that close to him, if someone else had just been there to say, It's OK.


But in this world, witnessing violation takes a toll on our souls.

My last blog,. did not really tackle my sexuality issues.

But I have found one reference

http://4dogeaters.blogspot.com/2009/04/e-books.html

SUNDAY, JANUARY 11, 2009

Design

Just because you are on a well trodden path, doesn't mean it leads to where you want to go.

This year is the big 3 0.

So what have I accomplished?

I've learned
to love and to let go
to fight and to look before rushing into the fray
to keep a dream in the field of vision, but not be afraid to pass by a road that seems to lead to it
that sometimes courage is confronting the known rather than the unknown

I wouldn't be who I am now, if things had been different.

And I wouldn't want it any other way.

This year is 36

The career is almost there,.. master's anyway.

And what I have learnt this year is ... for better or worse
I am gay always... keeping that aspect of myself to myself is just not worth it.

I'd rather deal with the face value stuff,.. than quietly swallow bile.

But that also means... because of the way Trinidadian society is...

I am going to try to leave...

To not do so,.. would in the long run... leave me bitter.

The truth is I am ready to be more open, than society at large.
And I would like less negative consequences for doing so.

I have a very portable master's and some experience.

The only way I would even consider staying... is some assurance as to personal safety at work.

But also,.. my options for partners in this society are also somewhat limited,.. due to my openness.

Many  Trinidadians are not even out to their families,.. and open displays of affection are not encouraged.

As a woman, I do get stares... and then ... words which I will not repeat by drunkards...

Physical / Sexual assault in targeted attacks are a very real reality.. as is open harassment in the workplace.

And until we are ready to tackle these issues..

No one can tell me about brain drain..

Seldo

http://seldo.com/weblog/2011/08/11/it_gets_better